fancy site name
Hey, lookie here. Don't be asking where it comes from. Don't matter no how. What matters is we got it and we'll send it your way for what we like to call a "Finders Fee." You ain't gonna find this stuff nowhere else. Also our customar service cannot be beat. Lungs, eyeballs, arms intestins, feet -- plenty of feet.

....nor unused neither
dems make the best kinds of sausages.
owners and propieters.  i dun do this fancy new-fangled web stuff.  she dun all the order taken and sendin'.
ta do yer thinkin' with even Clem wanted one of this'rn new for the heavy smoker only owned three times before
If you shop anywhere else, you must need one for yourself. These here is good n moist.

ORDER NOW $12.00
Big ones, small ones, and ones what have they call the sclerosis. We'll make you a deal on them.

ORDER NOW $10.00
Every color of the rainbow, pink to black, 2-for-1 special on Thursday next.

ORDER NOW $7.00 ea

bigger than last year's hampster bladder gonna miss ol Bess with a resealable top to keeps em all gooder
This here is what they call a bladder. We hear tell it spits bile, so watch out!

ON BACK ORDER
We don't know what this is, but it came out of the back of a cow. If you want, we can make some kind of barter deal.

CALL US
Bag of syringes! We'll bag up a bushel, and throw in a couple for free!

ORDER NOW $3.89 SPECIAL

No funny cards, just good ol' hard cash.  Tater gets right nasty when you'ins don't pay up. This'n one time, this joker asked if we take checks, well Tater got out the ol' poking stick, good piece of white pine from Ned's lumber, and told him to put down the $4.28.  Well that guy just took off like a coon outta a cap factory and Tater went out with the 4x4 and chased him down yonder till he coughed up that money.  Tater done a good job. That joker was getting a bright shiny spleen, t'ain't hardly been stepped on but once.